404 - someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document couldn't be located. Don't bother asking him, he's 404.
ADVANCED DESIGN - upper management doesn't understand it.
ALL NEW - software is not compatible with previous versions.
ADMINISPHERE - rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
ALPHA GEEK - most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Bob, he's the alpha geek around here."
ANALOG - hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts.  
APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity (see also IBM and Microsoft).
BACKUP - current data errors that have been saved for future use; opposite of go forward.
BATCH PROCESSING - making a lot of cookies at once.
BEEPILEPSY - brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode; characterized by physical spasms, bizarre facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
BINARY - the ability to have friends of both sexes.
BIT - 12˝ cents.
BLAMESTORMING - sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.    
BOOKMARK - take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at Siggraph."
BRAIN FART - byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly. A burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?" Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
BREAKTHROUGH - nearly booted on the first try.
BUFFER - programmer who works in the nude.
BUG - programmer's term for a feature; an elusive creature living in a program which makes it incorrect. Note: The activity of "debugging" or removing bugs from a program ends when a programmer gets tired of doing it, not when all the bugs are removed.
CAREER LIMITING MOVE (or CLM) - used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months (see ROM).
CGI JOE - hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT - an outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CHARACTER DENSITY - number of very weird people in the office, divided by the floor space.
CHIP JEWELRY - euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
COBWEB SITE - a World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time. A dead web page.
CODING - an addictive drug.
COMPILER - Noah Webster (1758-1843).
CONSOLE - what one does to a "down" computer.
CONTROL CHARACTER - anyone who has money to spend for any reason.
CRAPPLET - badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
CRASH - normal termination; typical computer response to any critical deadline.
CUBE FARM - an office filled with cubicles.
CURSOR - expert in 4-letter words.
DAEMON - spiritual guide.
DATA BASE - medium used to store errors, so that they can be processed and printed many times by the computer system. Sometimes called Input File or Data file.
DEAD TREE EDITION - paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle..."
DESIGN SIMPLICITY - developed on a shoe-string budget. 
DILBERTED - exploited and oppressed by boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
DISKETTE - mobile accessory to transfer and store errors.
DORITO SYNDROME - feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."
DOS - defunct operating system.
DUMP - system programmer's work area.
EGO SURFING - scanning the Net, databases, print media etc. looking for references to one's own name.
ELVIS YEAR - the peak year of something's popularity; Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993.
FEATURE - hardware limitation as described by a marketing representative. From "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant experience necessary to gloss over.
FIELD TESTED - manufacturing doesn't have a test system.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - all parameters are hard coded.
FUTURISTIC - only runs on the next-generation computer. 
GLAZING - corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"
GRAY MATTER - older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and established.
GRAYBAR LAND - place you go while staring at a computer that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering." 
HERE AT LAST -- release of a 26-week project in 48 weeks. 
IBM - I Blame Microsoft (see Microsoft).
IDEA HAMSTERS - those who always seem to have their idea generators running.
KEYBOARD - instrument used for entering errors into a system.
KEYBOARD PLAQUE - disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."
LANGUAGE - system of organizing and defining error messages.
LINK ROT - process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as the sites they're connected to, change location or die.
MAINTENANCE FREE - impossible to fix.
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers.
MOUSE POTATO - the online generation's answer to the couch potato.
NEW - comes in different colors from the previous version. 
NULL STRING -   result of a 4-hour database search.
NYETSCAPE - term for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
OBSOLETE - any computer system which has been delivered. 
OHNOSECOND - that minuscule fraction of time in which you realize you've just made a big mistake.
OPEN-COLLAR WORKERS - those who work at home or telecommute.
OPEN SYSTEMS - anything with our logo on it!
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon Too.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN - made it through beta test. 
PLUG & PLAY - new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
PRAIRIE DOGGING - something loud happens in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. 
QUALITY STANDARDS - compiles without errors.
RAM - male sheep.
ROM - a RAM after a delicate operation; what programs do in Never-Never Land.
REVOLUTIONARY - disk drives go round and round.
RICH TEXT - exploitive capitalist text.
SALMON DAY - experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - they'll send you another copy if it fails.
SCSI - System Can't See It.
SHOVELWARE - document that was shoveled from paper onto the Web, CD (or whatever)  without effort to adapt; betrayed by papercentric phrases like "See page so-and-so," "later in this booklet," etc. 
SITCOM - stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
STOCK ITEM - shipped it once before, and can do it again, probably.
STRESS PUPPY - a person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny. 
SQUIRT THE BIRD - transmit a signal up to a satellite, as "Crew and talent are ready-- what time do we squirt the bird?"
SYSTEM UPDATE - expedient method of trashing all current software.
TOURISTS - those taking training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the rest were tourists."
TURBO - mode in which the computer compiles the errors faster.
UNDER MOUSE ARREST - getting busted for violating an online service's code of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
UNMATCHED - almost as good as the competition.