The new policy
on sexual harassment includes your photo.
The Security Guard made a
comprehensive inventory of your work area.
Your assistant starts
responding to your memos with, "Yeah, whatever."
You get an "It's for
you loser" .wav when receiving e-mail instead of a chime.
Your new Pentium was
replaced with an 386sx-18 last weekend.
The Human Resources Dept
requested an update of your arrest record.
The boss asks if you
still have a copy of your five-year contract.
You notice co-workers
measuring your cubicle when you arrive at work.
Your parking space is
moved next to the Dumpster.
Your secretary says
things like, "Get the phone, my nails aren't dry."
Your boss asks you to
write a desk manual for your job.
The LAN suddenly began
backing-up my computer every 10 minutes.
The receptionist asks
"Who?" when anyone calls on you.
A large paper recycling
box is placed next to your file cabinets.
Or maybe it's more than you;
PSYCHIC HINTS ON IMPENDING LAY-OFFS:
CEO
frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe."
Your workday consists of
coming in at 10, thinking up Top Five entries with 30 of your coworkers, then leaving at
4.
Dr. Kervorkian hired as
"Transition Consultant."
Windows 95 shutdown
screen reads, "It's Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team
downsized to chess team.
Sudden proliferation of
teen-age geek interns.
Your boss keeps asking
you when he can "Show your cubicle."
Company President now
driving a Hyundai.
Annual company holiday
bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
Old Milwaukee is beer of
choice at company picnics.
Guard at front desk
nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by.
Giant yard sale in front
of corporate headquarters.
Old Milwaukee is beer of
choice at company picnics.
Babes in Marketing
suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.
Employee Discount Days
discontinued at Ammo Attic.
Company dental plan now
consists of pliers and string.
President begins weekly
meetings, "Good morning, you ignorant bastards."
Or maybe it's a "done deal" and you can stick a fork in it--
PSYCHIC HINTS THE COMPANY'S DOOMED:
They
start paying everyone in sea shells.
The
Dairy Queen on the corner is threatening a hostile takeover.
When
you say, "See you tomorrow," the watchman laughs uncontrollably.
The
chairman walks by your desk and says, "Hey, Hey! Easy on the staples, try re-cycling
'em!"
The
initials of your company are "G.M."
Conference
room has been turned into chinchilla farm.
Conversations
at the water cooler are mainly with yourself.
Your
boss casually asks you if you know anything about starting fires.
You
get a lot of memos in Japanese.
