I go in to get a stamp. I put my almost-new dollar in
the machine. It spits it back out. I stroke it and put it back in. It spits it out. A
normal day at the Post Office.
So, now I have to go into the dreaded room where the clerks
are. As I get into the room, there’s one clerk at the counter and one wandering
around in the back. Some bozo who doesn’t know how to get a package ready to mail is
at the counter saying “I just need some tape, I already paid the postage.”
So he proceeds to take about a minute arranging one frigging
piece of tape. Then before he can leave the counter, a little blonde walks up and plants
herself in front of me (I’m about three feet from the guy ‘cause there’s no
one else there).
I say, “Excuse me.” She mumbles something (high
school-aged kid).
Then I said, “I was here first.” She mumbles something
else and points to the scale. The guy leaves.
She then lays down a dollar to pay the postage on the
envelope that’s on the scale. I said, “If you haven’t got your act together
and you have to leave to get something you forgot, you lose your place in line.” No
response.
After waiting at least 2-3 minutes for a guy who isn’t
ready and a kid who isn’t ready and has no manners, I give my dollar to the woman and
tell her the machine isn’t taking dollars.
As soon as I said it I realized it was a colossal
blunder.
In a split second I’m thinking, “Now she’s
going to come out from behind the counter and try to make the machine work ‘cause she
just knows I’m too stupid to operate it.” She didn’t! What luck!
I’m holding one envelope, so her brilliant reply is,
“Just one stamp?”
I bite my tongue and say, “Yes.”
She gives me my change, laboriously counting out each penny,
nickel, dime, and quarter, but gives me no stamp, yet behaves as though the transaction is
finished. So of course I have to ask for my stamp.
What else would I expect? A normal day at the Post Office,
the place where idiots and fools work, congregate and vegetate.
-- Richard Cantwell
Richard has worked as an advertising, insurance &
encyclopedia salesman, carpenter, computer builder/instructor/programmer, dish washer,
electrician, gardener, gas-station attendant, guitar teacher, handyman, heavy equipment
oiler, janitor, keypunch operator, landscaper, medic, musician, painter, line cook, pastry
chef, waiter, PBX operator, photographer, plumber, postal worker, radar
operator, roofer, secretary, singer, store clerk, cabbie, and web designer. With all this,
he's also worked as a writer and says,
"I'm now masquerading as an editor. I'm one of the original
Boomers. I watched Woodstock on TV from the other side of the world. I'm a goof-off. I'm a
Boomer, ex-hippie screwball living in the wilds of the Northwest soon to be surrounded by
barbarians from the south (California)."
YOUR DIATRIBE ON THE POSTAL SERVICE WAS ENTERTAINING. Did you
purchase that little strip of twenty stamps? You will learn that when you fold it to go in
your billfold, the little divider strip across the center detaches from the no-stick
backing and sticks itself to your stamps-- so then you have several stamps all glued
together. They are still spendable but it takes care and patience to separate the stamp
from the others without damage. Some progress! --Lee
November 06, 2001 --Lee wrote us again:
REMEMBER WHEN WE DISCUSSED the thing about postage stamps and how
it has become a problem to carry them in a billfold? Recently I visited our local P.O.
zipcode distribution center office. It has no retail service window. I needed postage
stamps. There was a huge machine which offered postage stamps of various denominations and
packaged quantities. The least number of stamps for letters was a folder of twenty. The
price was right, $6.80, no surcharges. I then discovered I had only a twenty dollar bill
so I fed it to the machine and ordered two folders of twenty: $13.60. Much to my delight
my change dropped into the cup in coins. There was six Sakajawea gold dollars and .40 in
silver. This was the most gold dollars I have seen since they were issued. And then I
checked my stamp folders and found two strips of ten stamps neatly folded into a neat
wallet size unit. It made my day and I am sorry I took the name of the postal service in
vain --Lee
We wanted to print the above, because good news these days is too rare,
particularly about the US Postal Service. --R K
Almost certainly, postal personnel have been
trained by those dear mid-Atlantic/chained folks headquartered in Baltimore-- High's Ice Cream. Growing up with High's on
the corner, you experience the impatience of kids, awaiting a singly-scooped cone. Of
course, it could be customer indecision (but certainly not our own). As adults, we still
couldn't get over how long it took to get a single scoop. Eventually, we made the
connection. It wasn't a plan for inefficiency, but a bid ensuring a postal workers
training contract! Great product, but "slow delivery" probably accelerated
take-over by Nestle's in the 90's. The USPS
could privatize: horrors! --R K
© 2003 R K Puma rk@rkpuma.com
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